Conglomo
Conglomo is a Daxian multi-level marketing (MLM) company that sells health, beauty, and home care products. The company was founded in 2004 by Donkey-Kong Dave and Tony Yoink and is based in Pianqu, Daxia. It conducts business through a number of affiliated companies in several countries and territories. It follows its own patented business model dubbed the Trapezoidal Ladder to Success™.
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| Industry | Conglomerate |
| Founded | 25 December 2004 |
| Headquarters | Pianqu , |
Area served | Worldwide |
Key people |
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| Revenue | $235 billion (2020) |
| $82 billion | |
Number of employees | 156,673 |
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History
Tony Yoink and Donkey-Kong Dave have been friends and associates since at least the 1970's when they both employed by a Daxian telemarketing firm named Cintranex Limited. Eventually both were fired for attempting to falsify call reports to get unearned sales commissions. After departing Cintranex, the pair became distributors of Cloroxil, a company that sold soap infused with various herbs and spices, marketed as contributing to healthier, smoother skin. The business practices of Conglomo are clearly patterned after Cloroxil's, with a few adjustments such as the use of a trapezoid instead of a pyramid to describe the business structure. After realizing the were not going to make it big in the Cloroxil pyramidal scheme and were just feeding their 'sponsor', Tony got the idea to start their own soap company with the same general business strategy but tougher methods to outcompete and swallow Cloroxil.
After taking on significant bank debt, Conglomo corporation was formed in 2004 with its main business focus being the import and commercialization of rose petal oil soaps from Rusana under the brand name of Venus Soap. At the same time they began filing a massive number of complaints with the Ministry of Economy, alleging breaches of health standards, disloyal competition, false advertising and other unfair business practices complaints against Cloroxil. While hundreds of these complaints were thrown out, the one or two that stuck quickly became a problem for Cloroxil's operation, as they were not entirely unfounded. They also hired thugs from the National Union of Road Transport Workers to disrupt the delivery trucks of Cloroxil and intimidate the drivers. Cloroxil's founder agreed to sell the company to Conglomo when he started to be harassed himself, being followed around by suspicious cars, having his car tires slashed and receiving cryptic phonecalls. With this acquisition Conglomo suddenly became the leader of the natural soap market in the country and acquired a significantly larger distribution network.
Brands
- Cleaning products: some kind of cleaning goop?, soaps made of cucumbers or some dumb shit
- Cosmetics: whale free cosmetics, avon
- Toiletries: One ply toilet paper
- Cooking knives: ultra deluxe super sharp knives
- Nutrition: Partnership with Agario, all in one meal in a tablet/pill/shake
Business model
Conglomo's business model combines direct sales with the multi-level marketing. Conglomo's distributors are called 'Executive Agents' and they can sell products directly. They can also induct and mentor people outside of Conglomo into becoming agents, garnering performance bonuses for the sales made by their inductees. This is called internally the Trapezoidal Ladder to Success™, as one's agents downstream recruit more people and those people recruit more in turn in addition to selling product, it becomes a self sustaining money printing machine.