Le Weihnacht Calendeuer

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Le Weihnacht Calendeuer
Created byJean-Yves Forvert
Hans-Erich Sachsen
StarringJean-Yves Forvert
Adam le Bonc
Giles de Sillé
Narrated byJean-Yves Forvert
Country of originYonderre
No. of seasons1
No. of episodes24
Production
ProducersPrimo Kino
Hans-Erich Sachsen
Running timec. 4 hours (10 mins X 24)
Release
Original networkTélévision 1
Original release1 December (1991-12-01) –
24 December 1991 (1991-12-24)

Le Weihnacht Calendeuer (The Christmas Calender) is a Yonderian episodic televisual advent calendar of 24 episodes made by Primo Kino. The show first ran from December 1st to December 24th 1991. The show follows three Christmas Gnomes (creatures of Gothic folklore) who must find the key that winds up the music box that keeps Santa Claus alive. This results in comedic hijinks as they run into an "Oja", a vampire-esque race that seeks to wipe out the Christmas Gnomes and who too seeks the key to Santa's music box to deny him the wind-up. He is helped, unwittingly, by a couple of farmers who happen to live nearby.

The show is notable for its language; the Christmas Gnomes speak an irrational and seemingly random mix of East Gothic and Burgoignesc, which is explained in the show as being the ultimate evolution of the Gnomes living in solitude for hundreds of years while speaking both languages. This in part lampoons the laws in Yonderre requiring television and radio programming from state-operated or state-financed media like Télévision 1 to be available in both languages. For this very reason, the title of the show mixes the East Gothic and Burgoignesc languages, Weihnacht from Gothic meaning "Christmas" and Le and Calendeuer meaning "The" and "Calender" in Burgoignesc respectively. Similarly, the Oja (itself a joke name, meaning "Oh yes" or "Uh-huh" in a blend of Gothic and Burgoignesc) speaks Burgoignesc to himself but Gothic in an exaggerated urban Gabion dialect to the two farmers who, juxtaposed, speak an exaggerated version of the rural dialect of the East Gothic language spoken in Kubagne County where the show is set.

Le Weihnacht Calendeuer was hugely successful at the time, causing many invented phrases from the series to enter popular culture and was later released on VHS and subsequently DVD. Today, the show has a major cult following. It is also played annually at Christmas on Télévision 1 or Télévision 2.

Plot

The Christmas Gnomes had long lived peacefully in East Gothica until the Conquest of Joanusterra in the mid- to late fifteenth century when the Oja (a species of vampire-esque beings) wandered into Gothica amidst the chaos of the Crusade. It is never explicitly stated where they come from, but it is alluded to being Vespia. The narrator (Jean-Yves Forvert) explains that the Christmas Gnomes and Ojas fought a war in secret so as not to upset the humans, a war which the Christmas Gnomes lost in the end and were exiled to Australis where they lived ever since. Unfortunately, the Christmas Gnomes forgot the key to the music box whose music keeps Santa Claus alive. Fast forward to present day when Santa Claus' music box is about to cease playing; Santa sends out three elite Gnomes: Pfeiffer (Jean-Yves Forvert), Hausser (Adam le Bonc) and Boudin (Giles de Sillé). The three are sent out with the "Big Book" which holds the answer to every question. Their task is to retrieve the music box key, which was forgotten in a now long abandoned lair in western Yonderre.

Simultaneously, an Oja (also played by Adam le Bonc) travels to the same region, having heard of the Gnomes' plans. The Oja have, since the Gnome-Oja war, changed their shape such that they now perfectly resemble humans, except their true form is still revealed when ingesting strong alcoholic drinks. Benno comes to the farmhouse of Oskar Hügel (again played by Jean-Yver Forvert) and Gertrud Hügel (also played by Giles de Sillé in drag), where the Oja presents himself as travelling salesman "Benno" and explains that his car has broken down further down the road, ostensibly due to sabotage by the "Ænglish Mafia". The Hügels let Benno in and allow him to sleep on the couch for the night so he may go out the following day and fix his car. Meanwhile, the three Christmas Gnomes have flown in a biplane from Australis to Yonderre. The pilot, Boudin, crashes upon landing, bending the propeller beyond use. Dissatisfied with Boudin's performance, the three make their way to the secret lair where they find the key for Santa Claus' music box. However, without a propeller, the three cannot return to Australis, and so must wait while Boudin cuts a new propeller from timber.

In the following days, Benno the Oja searches the nearby landscape for the Gnomes' lair, explaining to the Hügels that his car has mysteriously vanished, oncemore pinning the blame on "Ænglish mafias". The Hügels permit him to stay, sleeping on the couch until he has found his car. Meanwhile, the Gnomes set about using the "Big Book" to rectify social injustices and other problems taking place around the lair. Finally, in episode 11, the Hügels celebrate Oskar's birthday and as part of it serve Chevaleueur Vert. Though declining at first, Benno drinks the liquour and soon reveals his true form, suddenly growing exaggerated canine teeth and thick lensed glasses. The Hügels do not notice and continue celebrating. That night, Benno finds the Gnome Lair. The hatch is locked however, and Benno has to lay a trap. The next day, when Boudin comes out to urinate, Benno beats him over the head with a shovel, sneaks inside the lair and steals the Big Book.

With the Big Book in his possession, Benno returns to the Hügel farm and sets about enchanting the World with evil magic. Benno's first course of action is raising the VAT to 100%, grinning evily as he imagines the endless million Talers his actions will cost. Meanwhile, the three Christmas Gnomes are panicking over the loss of the Big Book and what it may mean for the future of not just Christmas but the World. They decide to organize a night raid towards the nearby farm where they suspect the Oja is hiding. While preparing for the raid, the Oja drinks himself senseless, the alcohol simultaneously feeding his evil and turning him unresponsive. By the time the Gnomes reach the farm, Benno is fast asleep over top of the Big Book. As Boudin is about to knock Benno over the head with a mallet, Pfeiffer reminds him that "Gnomes don't hurt people". The Gnomes instead take the Big Book and escape under the cover of night. Benno awakens with a terrible hangover, and when he discovers the Big Book is gone, goes ballistic as he rushes out the door.

The Gnomes continue their day-to-day business as Boudin continues to cut the propeller for their biplane. Benno, however, now knowing the location of their lair, comes to the hatch that leads to the lair. Using homemade explosives, he attempts to blast his way in, but is terribly injured in a comedic display of incompetence that has him lighting the fuse and then standing around. The explosive proves ineffective at opening the hatch, and so Benno returns to the Hügel farm where he is treated for his injuries, explaining he was involved in a terrible Yachting accident. Finally, after hiding for many episodes, Benno once more catches Boudin unawares in episode 23 wherein he takes him prisoner, having stolen Oskar Hügel's hunting shotgun. Holding the three Gnomes prisoner at gun-point, Benno triumphantly monologues about his success, threatens the three with shooting them and finally reveals, by pulling the trigger on Pfeiffer, that the firearm was unloaded all along. Benno escapes with what he thinks is the Big Book, only to realize once reaching the Hügel Farm that what he ran away with was in fact an old cook book. Meanwhile, the three Gnomes attached Boudin's new propeller to the biplane and escaped back to Australis. In Australis, the three wound up Santa's music box, but with no immediate response, started blaming one another for being too late. When Santa once more breated, the Gnomes and Santa sing the series' title song, afterwich the screen faded to credits.