Téodar Konsaháken
 Téodar Konsaháken at a press conference, apologizing for injuring three players in one game, July 2024 | |||
| Personal information | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Date of birth |
22 July 1990 22 Ispalús 21166 (C.C.) | ||
| Place of birth | Valēka, Kiravia | ||
| Height | 1.93 m (6 ft 4 in) | ||
| Playing position(s) | Right back | ||
| Club information | |||
Current team | Gabion Giants | ||
| Number | 5 | ||
| Youth career | |||
| 1999–2005 |
 Valēka GSC | ||
| Senior career* | |||
| Years | Team | Apps | (Gls) |
| 2005–2006 |
Valēka GSC | 6 | (1) |
| 2006–2008 |
 FC 1908 | 19 | (2) |
| 2008–2010 |
FSV Zwischen | 37 | (4) |
| 2010–2013 |
FC Willing | 66 | (5) |
| 2013–present |
Gabion Giants | 393 | (30) |
| National team | |||
| 2009–present |
Kiravia | 112 | (9) |
| * Senior club appearances and goals counted for the domestic league only | |||
Téodar Konsaháken (born 22 July 1990 or 22 Ispalús 21166 (C.C.) in Valēka, Kiravia) is a Kiravian professional footballer who plays as a right back for Ligue Yonderre club Gabion Giants and the Kiravia national football team. He has previously played for Yonderian clubs FC Willing, FSV Zwischen and FC 1908, as well as Kiravian club Valēka GSC.
Throughout his career, Konsaháken has gained a reputation for a highly aggressive and physically uncompromising style of play, earning him a "hard man" image on and off the field. This begun when Konsaháken joined the senior roster of the Kiravian club Valēka GSC in 2005 where practical jokes and initiations for new players were commonplace; these ranged from players being stripped and forced to walk home naked to belongings being set on fire to players being tied to the roof of a car at the training ground and driven at high speeds along highways among a multitude of others, to which Konsaháken later commented "you either grew a backbone quickly or dissolved as a man", in reference to the club's boisterous culture.
Konsaháken transfered to the Yonderian Ligue 2 club FC 1908 in 2006, playing two seasons there with 19 matches played and two goals scored. Konsaháken then transfered to FSV Zwischen, also in Ligue 2, where he played 37 matches and scored four goals. Having made a reputation for himself at this point, Konsaháken was sold to Ligue Yonderre club FC Willing in 2010 for ₮1,250,000. Konsaháken played 66 matches for FC Willing before transfering to Gabion Giants in 2013, where he remains to this day. Konsaháken has played for the Kiravia national football team since 2009.
Konsaháken was the presenter of the infamous Football's Hard Men video released in 2022, which featured archived footage of him and many other "hard men" of the game, and included advice for budding "hard men". After the release of the video, Konsaháken was fined ₮20,000 and given a two-month ban for "bringing the game into disrepute". Ligue Yonderre chairman Michel Cargeaux branded Konsaháken a "mosquito brain". After this incident, Konsaháken failed to stay out of trouble. After exceeding 40 disciplinary points that season, he was once again summoned to the headquarters of Ligue Yonderre, but failed to appear. The Ligue Yonderre banned Konsaháken indefinitely. Konsaháken explained that he had "mixed up" the date of the hearing, for which he received a four-match ban and was told by Ligue Yonderre officials to "grow up".
Criminal charges
Konsaháken was convicted in June 2014 of assault occasioning actual bodily harm and criminal damage against a neighbour in November 2013. Konsaháken was convicted in December 2016 of assault and threatening behaviour on an aircraft for an air rage incident, during which he slapped a passenger in the face and threatened to murder the cabin crew while drunk on an aircraft. He was fined ₮1,100 and ordered to perform 80 hours of community service.