Commarcho Capitalism
Commarcho Capitalism (Latin: Capitalista Commarchismus; Pelaxian: Comarcocapitalismo; Reform Tainean: Comarkaukapitaulismau) is one of the official ideologies of the satirical political party the Party of National Acceleration, a self-declared party of the "steelvetines" (cabacerciopeladistas) founded in 1998 by two punks in Las Joquis, Castadilla. The name of the ideology comes from the ideologies of communism and anarcho-capitalism, making it a portmanteau of the two terms.
Followers of this ideology have often called it "the final evolutionary stage for the Castadillaan nation where everyone will be free to do as they please ten times over or more in the struggle against any and all forms of education". Political analysts often debate over whether commarcho capitalism is meant to be a jab at Velvetine socialism, or a tongue-in-cheek attempt at presenting an "alternative" to the PDP, but each and every single one of them have reached a consensus that the ideology is designed to be an expression of the growing Castadillaan punk subculture much like the other satirical ideologies that have risen in the late 1990s.
Outside of Castadilla, commarcho capitalism has very little following outside of online social media, nor are there any satirical political parties besides the Party of National Acceleration that have commarcho capitalism as one of its main ideologies, making it a phenomenon found only in Castadilla and in the online world.
History
Commarcho capitalism was originally thought up by the then-teenage punk duo Cabezalito and Basurero in 1998 as they founded what they wanted to be "the voice for the most overlooked demographic in Castadilla, the teenage punks and anti-learning activists". This led to the formation of the Party of National Acceleration one month later as the duo attracted fellow punks from across the country. The punk scene in Castadilla rose up in the late 1980s as a call for defiance against the Estado Social regime. When the regime was overthrown in the Velvet Revolution and defeated in the subsequent Castadillaan Civil War, many of these punks looked towards political satire, often founding spoof political ideologies, with commarcho capitalism being the most prominent of all. Other punk ideologies included "Loa Exceptionalism", "Navidadian Socialism", "Pogo Stick Totalitarianism", "Delepasian Unremarkablism", and "Proto-Disestablishmentarianism", many of these would merge into the Party of National Acceleration as separate factions.
Fundamental principles of commarcho capitalism
| ZELP | ZA | ZVF |
Commarcho capitalism revolves around the idea of "broken federalism" wherein the country is split up into a "triple Vallosi monarchy" of sorts:
- The "People's Free Economic Zone" (ZELP) for people who wish to work. In here, people are expected to earn a living in whatever way they choose, including just doing nothing but taking trips to the bathroom, so long as a portion of their income is taken to finance the "happy living zone". The name of this zone is in reference to Castadilla's Special Economic Zones which are designated areas where the state employs a more liberal approach to the economy.
- The "Happy Living Zone" (ZVF) for people who do not wish to work. In this zone, not only is this zone modelled after a large gated community, the people living in this area are paid a regular wage for doing no work, but they are legally required to rock and roll all night and party everyday. Anyone who is caught not doing either of these things are deemed to be "nogoodniks" and are sentenced to live in the "troublemaker zone".
- The "Troublemaker Zone" (ZA) for people who break the law in either the "Happy Living Zone" or the "People's Free Economic Zone". This place would be designed as if it were an amusement park with various exhibits showing the nation's troublemakers up to and including violent offenders. The zone would make use of the police as its security force, and would set aside special areas meant to display the nation's main ethnic groups from traditionally-dressed Delepasians to Gemeans dressing up like pirates (in reference to the Gemean piratocracy). This zone would be used as the major tourist attraction for a commarcho capitalist Castadilla.
The three zones would be ruled by the same head of state, that being the Castadillaan Emperor, or rather the "Grandmaster of Trizonian Castadilla", with each zone ruled by a "master of the zone" who is directly elected by the people living in those zones.
Commarcho capitalism also supports the idea of "de-education centres" with mandatory classes aimed at unteaching people so as to bring forth an "idiocratic society".
Commarcho capitalists claim that their ideology has "no relation whatsoever" with anarchism.