Tom of Ardrossan

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Tomáus Ardrossask
Born21176
Faneria (alleged)
Suderavia (also alleged)
NationalityKiravian
CitizenshipNone (see below)
Alma materArdrossan County College
Kārnklaxan, Hanoram
Occupation
  • Intern, Kiravian LoN mission
  • Chargé d'affairs to the LoN

Tomáus, known on his paycheques as Tom of Ardrossan, is a Kiravian diplomat currently serving as the Kiravian chargé d'affaires at the League of Nations.

Career

Tom enrolled at Ardrossan County College in [YEAR], taking coursework related to international business and sports management. Thanks in large part to his exceptional command of Ænglish, he was selected for a seasonal internship programme with the Kiravian Foreign Service at the Kiravian Mission to the League of Nations in Alba Concordia. Initially responsible for translating incoming phonecalls and mail with a pool of other interns, Tom distinguished himself with his language abilities and conviviality, and was soon called upon to provide simultaneous interpretation for Kiravian diplomats at League committee meetings and other events if paid translation staff were unavailable.

Tom suddenly rose to prominence in [YEAR2] when the hacktivist group AkbarLeaks published documents implicating Ambassador Vasiliximav and nearly the entire diplomatic staff of the Kiravian LoN mission in an international organ trafficking ring involving the abuse of diplomatic pouches. With Ambassador Vasiliximav on the lam and the rest of the Foreign Service officers recalled immediately, Tom was asked by the International Organisations Office to act as a stopgap chargé d'affaires, holding down the fort until a replacement for Vasiliximav could be nominated and confirmed by the Federal Council. The League of Nations Desk in Kartika developed a practice of transmitting votes and the verbatim text of floor speeches to Tom by diplomatic cable, which lesser interns would transcribe onto index cards for his convenience. Tom's fun-loving nature and the curiosity of an unpaid intern serving as de facto Ambassador helped him to establish good relationships with other nation's representatives and ranking League bureaucrats.

Nominating a permanent Ambassador was somewhere on the Candrin administration's agenda, but Tom's tenure as chargé d'affaires was extended by the arrival of E. Sarna Kośikarin. Officially, Kośikarin was in Alba Concordia to head up the League's Tourism and Travel Commission, though it was understood among Palace of Nations insiders that his true role was Kroveniren Hall's unofficial point man on Security Council matters, particularly related to escalating tensions in Crona ahead of the Final War of the Deluge. A skilled operator with deep knowledge of Crona and strong credentials as a Renaissance man, Kośikarin was ideal for the job, but was unlikely to survive a confirmation hearing for the Ambassadorship due to the complex nature of his past business dealings and complete ignorance of Levanto-Sarpic languages. Tom and Kośikarin quickly found that their interests aligned - Kośikarin needed a skilled translator and well-connected guide to Palace of Nations intrigue, and Tom needed some way to justify remaining in his absurd position - and that their interests - alcohol abuse and cocaine - also aligned. Kośikarin vouched for Tom's replacement to be postponed, and the two worked closely together for the duration of Kośikarin's term as Tourism and Travel Commissioner, which carried through the conclusion of the war on Varshan.

For the time being, Tom remains the official Kiravian representative at the League of Nations, heading a staff comprised mostly of interns. Most policy and strategy formulation for the Kiravian mission is still done in Kartika, though Tom is said to have taken on a more active role in the diplomatic process. Tom is still formally an unpaid intern, but his expenses are paid by the government under the heading of programme-standard "room and board". He was dismissed from Ardrossan County College in 21204 after neglecting to re-enroll, and maintains his internship eligibility through matriculation at the Kyllera College of Maritime Studies, a diploma mill operating out of an abandoned gas station.

Personal background

Many personal details about Ambassador Tom, most notably his surname, are not publicly known. The epithet "of Ardrossan" is derived from the community college at which he was a student when he first arrived in Alba Concordia as an intern. Requests for Tom's personal details filed under the Open Records Act by the newspaper Ğábravik have been rejected on standard data privacy grounds. According to Érintetlen Koskematon, a former fellow intern interviewed by the same paper, Tom was usually addressed as "fir Ardrossask" ("Ardrossan guy") by superiors, and insisted that his peers call him by his forename, which is unusual in Kiravian culture. Koskematon further states that none of the interns were close with Tom socially, as he was "kind of a dick", that he "had a thing for rye bread", and that he was "really into hockey".

It is known that Tom holds a Kiravian National (Overseas) passport, indicating that he does not have household registration in Kiravia and is therefore a Kiravian national but not a citizen or metic. Ğábravik speculates, based on his North Levantine appearance and reported love of hockey, that Tom was likely born in western Faneria or Suderavia, and probably spent at least part of his youth in an Ænglish-speaking country such as Urcea or Alstin.